Go, God, Go!

Here goes my second blog on Ecuador, this time pre-existing just one day before the trip is made.

I have been waiting for more than half my life for tomorrow, Friday, June 26, 2009, 7:30 A.M. Now I'm not sure how to properly acknowledge or celebrate the emotion that defines the endeavor. It catalyzes feelings I've never experienced. It's strange, and I can't think about anything else.

I'm afraid I'll blow this opportunity for God to use me. It wouldn't be the first time, but this is the part where I release my faith and trust in who God is. He doesn't do things on accident.

To tell you the truth it feels like getting married. Not that I really have a grasp on what it feels like to get married, but living in this marriage-laden country I have a fingerhold. It's a moment of inexplicable elation but other emotions also release themselves forcibly into your demeanor. You are nervous, scared, paranoid and completely in love, which means you're hopeless, but relentless and passionate. You're afraid you won't be able to be what you need to be...and you can't be. You can't ever be. You have to call on something else inside. Bring to surface the nucleus of it all. I just don't want to ruin the beauty. At any given moment that is a possibility. I want to do everything to make it something special and memorable and impacting. I don't want to lose any of those goals, due to any slip of laziness or lack of preperation.

I apologize for my alleged over-exaggeration. You just don't understand.

I cannot worry about these things. God is behind it all. Even if I don't always feel it. The dispersion of the gospel...to stop is impossible. Acts 5:39 says this, "...if it is of God, you will not be able to stop them. You may even find yourselves fighting against God." In Luke 18:27 it says this, "What is impossible for people is possible with God."

This is the part where I almost lose words to say. I'm finished with my attempts to express how happy I am.

This is going to be the adventure of my life.

Ecuador, South America.

GO...GOD...GO!

Quote Commentary 9...Todd Beamer

"Let's Roll."
Todd Beamer

Todd Beamer was an educated, New Jersey account manager. He was married with two sons and expecting a third, when he was a passenger on United Airlines Flight 93. A witness to the upheavels of tragedy.

I watched the movie "Flight 93" last night before I went to bed. I've always been inspired by the story. It's been a long time since a movie stirred so many emotions inside of me. This isn't to say it was a well made movie. No, but the truth of it probed my feelings terrifically.

I lied awake a long time last night. Not so much thinking on it, but reflecting. That is to say I wasn't trying to figure things out in my head, I was just dwelling on the courage and events.

We need people like Todd Beamer. People that say I'm not going down without a fight. People riddled by surreal situations. People that say, I'm going to die anyway, but there is a greater cause to fight for, so "Let's Roll."

Today I've been reading and researching about all things Flight 93. I've listened to every actual recording I could find, I've read about the lives of the hijackers and the passengers. I've discovered almost every memorial, tribute, consequence, and impact of what happened, I've read some about the families.

These were people whose actions were screaming their lungs out, that we were Americans...indivisible, indestructable, under God.

I wish with all my heart I could give justice with my words to the actions of these incredible passengers. I can't write out the passion that is in my head for these people and what they did.

Throughout the movie I kept wishing that it was fiction, so they could have a miraculous save at the end. That the heros would emerge unscathed. But I suppose there is no greater measure of a hero than the sacrifice of one's own life for others. None so noble or selfless as that. Reality is too bold in its story. It doesn't really heed to the audience's wishes. Reality has no morals, no shame, no remorse, no mercy.

We all know the phrase that inspired the nation that I've headlined this blog with, but let us not forget the prayer Todd Beamer also orated before it was go time. The familiar verses were these:

Our Father, which art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day, our daily bread,

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, For ever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

Now...Let's Roll.

Links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Beamer

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Airlines_Flight_93

http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#dc%20talk%20Let http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_roll

Quote Commentary 8...Gilda Radner

I always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.
-- Gilda Radner

Mrs. Radner was an American comedienne and actress who was a regular on Saturday Night Live. She battled and died of ovarian cancer at 42 raising an awareness for the disease.

Besides the perfect poetry of this piece it offers also a frighteningly exciting truth.

We humans hate being in the dark. We hate confusion and chaos and the worrisome ignorance forced upon us by hints of tragedy. We crave clarity and thirst for reason in the rage.

Then we realize the beauty is always brightest at the end of a long and winding tunnel. The thrill is in the twist, we can't handle knowing how our story ends.

Honestly, personally. I want to live on the edge. I want to scream right back at the noise. Everyday there is an adventure waiting to be had that will bore through the sands of time and be alive to inspire those left standing. There are discoveries to be made that will chill us to the bone.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, life is like a project. You always have a plan, and something always gets in the way. You can either cast the endeavor aside or use your wit and all other allies to persevere. Things are going to cut it close. You'll bleed, sweat, puke your guts out, cry, laugh, learn, and love every minute of it. You'll be inspired and discouraged. Your heart will break and your emotions will swell. And you'll always be surprised...."Delicious ambiguity"

Quote Commentary 7...Francois de La Rochefoucauld

We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Quotes and maxims were a speciatly of French born writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld, so today we have a thought from a professional.

There are noble purposes in revealing our faults. Open, truthful confessionals and inspirational testimonies can fall in the aforementioned category. However, there are also, and unfortunately more often, selfish motives for such a incriminating revelation.

We can release our small faults easily enough to curb the curiosity, care, or chastisement intended for our much larger wrongdoings. Or to turn the attention away. Like an EP before an album. Just give them something to sink their teeth into. Keep them occupied.

Quote Commentary 6...Charles M. Schulz

I know there is a lesson to be learned here somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Linus Van Pelt, Peanuts. Charles M. Schulz.

For a fellow like me that believes everything happens for a reason, constant vigil is necessary so that I don't miss a lesson to be learned, a meaning to be unveiled, or a purpose to be discovered. Many times we find events unfolding in our lives that we struggle to understand. A method in the madness would certainly be comforting, but it is so vague if there is any. We could use our imaginations and achieve a brief stimulant, but we would still be left unfulfilled. Sometimes past events leave us stunned for a very long time. We try and decide why it had to happen and see if there is something we can take with us from it. If that is the case, by all means retrace your steps. Mostly you'll find you wouldn't give up the knowledge you have now or the blessings you have now for the all the terror and tragedy of the past.

So ponder on the events in your minute to minute life. Take each event for what it's worth. Usually when you get an oyster there's bound to be a pearl. There are lessons to be learned everywhere.

The Declaration of...

Before action comes declaration.


Some part of human nature feels compelled to grant their predator a warning. Some innate courtesy says, "You owe them a fighting chance." I just wonder why. Is it necessarily honorable or moral? I've always thought that you would want to use every asset you had going for you in you endeavor to win, including the very useful element of surprise. Maybe instead we mean to sway them to our side of things, in which case the warning is more like a threat. Like, "You can do it the easy way or the hard way." Yes, I like that theory, an opportunity for freewill along with the disclaimer that you're coming after them no matter what.

Along with our need to warn, or threaten, before we attack we also feel obligated to explain ourselves. Are we attempting to justify our actions? If so, does that show insecurtity in our sense of righteousness? Maybe to give reasons shows we aren't just a bunch of troublemakers. Yes, maybe an explanation is just a courtesy. It's just proper to do that.



As I write I wonder to myself, "Where am I going with this?" In fact I have draft after draft after draft in my "Edit Post" section that are just sitting there waiting to be tied together. I suppose I could just add this one to the collection.

Or maybe that would be abandoning my own decleration. Yes, for the third time I agree with my own theory. All this must be leading up to my own personal declaration.

The majority of this particular authorship has consisted of me staring at the tiny blinking cursor awaiting my finger's summoning to action. That's sort of what I feel like right now. A tiny blinking cursor just waiting to spew forth with words of purpose in a sudden hail of typing by the Creator.

Perhaps then, that is what I'm going over and under to warn you about.

As a child of God I know I have a purpose. No it's just a matter of time before he lowers his fingers across the keys and begin to spell out his plans like a madman. When that happens, watch out, because then there will be no stopping me.

Now I suppose out of courtesy I also owe you an explanation for all of this.

Don't ask me, God did it. (Ephesians 2:10)

"When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to..."

Quote Commentary 5...Arthur Miller

I don't say he is a great man. Willy Loman never made a lot of money. His name was never in the paper. He's not the finest character that ever lived. But he's a human being, and a terrible thing is happening to him. So attention must be paid. He's not to be allowed to fall into his grave like an old dog. Attention, attention must be finally paid to such a person.
--Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman, Act I

Most of us are familiar with playwright, Arthur Miller. He had an intriquing life that is worth your time and research, but is too extensive for this post

This piece is from Arthur Miller's most famous work, Death of a Salesman. It relates salesman Willy Loman's estrangement from his son after he discovers the affair his father had while on a business trip. Taking into account all of his eccentricities and flaws and characteristics Willy Loman adds up to a miserable show of a man.

One word, with the help of my italicisms, may have stood out to you in the sentence above. Man, a subword of human. Every bit of Willy Loman is just that. Divinely made with a purpose. Not a rich man, not a famous man, not even what the world defines as a "good" man.

Willy was a man in trouble, in over his head and he needed a hand. You can't ignore things like that and write other's agony as insignificant. There is no nobler cause than "Love thy neighbor." How then could we possibly just shrug off one's plight. Disregard everything you know about your neighbor except for, they are your neighbor and we are required to love them.

Men like Willy Loman don't deserve neglect any more than Christians deserve grace. Don't ever disregard anyone as 'undeserving' because you'll find yourself in their shoes. None of us are infallible. We all have this one trait that is common to everyone you see.

We are all...human.

Quote Commentary 4...Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong

Erica Jong is an American author, poet, and teacher who's work I don't endorse, but whose quote I wholeheartedly believe. That's the cold, hard truth citizens. Most of the time anyway, who am I to give absolutes?



For the most part, when we discover the answer to what we know is right, we are upset with that knowledge. The right thing is usually the hardest thing. So we lie to ourselves and pretend we are still searching for the right thing to do, in hopes that someone will offer us an easy way out that will spare everyone's feelings. And hey, if it doesn't work out, they gave you the advice, right? No skin off your back.



Oh what a selfish bunch we human beings are.

Advice is a beautiful thing. If you aren't careful however, it will only add vice to your situation. Check your motives when you seek it.

Quote Commetnary 3...Solomon Short

Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true.
-- Solomon Short

Apparently Solomon Short was an author. My search for him was clouded by page after page of information dedicated the much more renowned, King Solomon.

I care not for Mr. Short's "for instance." I do care for the great truth he spoke in this.

If he is completely correct in saying this, this quote will eventually become cliche like all great truths. For now, it's solid and it brings a much greater respect to all the cliches out there.

Repetition and insincere or mocking usage lend to the antiquity of the truth.

My preferable "for instance" usually relates to the common salutation of "Dear..." at the beginning of letters. Now long ago when this custom was first birthed the composer of the letter actually meant that that someone was important to him/her and highly valued. Now it's just become cliche to all letters. You write a letter you put Dear Whoever at the top. Now it means nothing. It's just cliche.

My point, citizens, is when people use cliches, don't always write them off as meaningless and insincere. Maybe, they still mean what they used to mean to the deliverer.

Pure Life...Bottled Water

Before I began to type I poured a swallow of water from a half-filled, three day old bottle of water lying in my room into my thirsty throat. As intention would have it that bottle is the subject of my post.

The bottle of water is distributed by Nestle Pure Life bottled water brand, and on the side of water a slogan is printed that reads, "Embrace the Pure Life." What was most interesting to me however was not the slogan itself but the tiny TradeMark stamp to its right. Are they claiming rights to the phrase? The slogan? The idea? Of course the slogan, but for the sake of my blog let's imagine they are claiming originality to the idea itself.

If this were the issue I would have a pretty good case to make against them. I would begin with this early documentation:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Phillipians 4:8

Well that settles that, but my attention is stuck to my drinking container. I read on: "Nestle Purel Life Purified Water is purified using reverse osmosis or distillation and enhanced with a balance of minerals for taste." Well my further drive to extend this metaphor, led me to further investigation, so I consulted my ever faithful Merriam-Webster. Osmosis is a process of absorption of diffusion suggestive of the flow of osmotic action. Reverse osmosis, to be more specific is, "the movement of freshwater through a semipermeable membrane when pressure is applied to a solution (as seawater) on one side of it" That is to say, in a nutshell if you'll pardon the cliche, the movement of impurities from a substance so that it is clean. Look how similar we Christians are to a bottle of water.

One more thing caught my attention before I quit my perusement of my bottle. I found that this bottled water company was under another even greater corporation by name of Best Life. Now isn't that a nice tie up.

Best Life, Pure Life. Something to think on anyway. So long, citizens.

Quote Commentary 2...Cesare Pavese

The only joy in the world is to begin.
-- Cesare Pavese

Cesare Pavese was an Italian poet, novelist, literary critic, and translator. He was arrested for his anti-fascist ways and I'm arrested by this disillusioning and hopefully false quote.

Perhaps the reason Signore Pavese believes such a maxim is that he has never pressed on the the exhilerating end. He's been so enraptured by the inspiration and excitement that accompanied the beginning that when the feelings sputtered and eventually laid dormant he lacked the perseverance to boldly fight through the struggles and ennui that lead to the lasting joy...the end. You cannot constantly bounce from beginning rush to beginning rush. Like a drug the high will eventually diminish never to be retrieved. Stick it out, remember why the start was so joyful. Remember what made you love your endeavor, not just the uplifting emotion of newness. For your own sake prove Cesare Pavese wrong.

Quote Commentary 1...Bette Davis

There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains. the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch.
-- Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962

An internet search for the book "The Lonely Life" left me disappointed, so I can't give you any background imformation as to what the book was about. Most likely an autobiography of some sort. She was an actress and I don't care to go into any great detail on her life, but rather her words here.
Her first sentence here is my thesis. Excuses as to why things aren't wrong. The greatest example I can think of is the infamous "white lie." At what point, I wonder, did we decide that we could justify dishonesty on the grounds that it spared someone's feelings or didn't really hurt anyone. What great judges are we human beings that we can stretch morality like clay until we shape it into the beautifully decieving, self-flattering we've made it. The truth is there is a black and there is a white. There is a hot and there is a cold. It's only the discernment of which is which that should be hazy. There is no question, once you've properly seperated the two, as to whether or not there are exceptions to these solid principles.
I'm with Bette on this one. Give me the days where I'm either with you or against you. Bring me back to the times before hypocrisy if there ever was such a time. Show me a fork in the road and let me either choose the wide and wrong or the narrow and honorable. Most importantly let me shy from excuses and take my title with relish or reform in mind.

Sunday II

Sundays are just a brand new beautiful start to a new week. When the sun rises on Sunday everything is going to be alright. Today my routine will carry out in much the same manner as the last two Sundays since we spoke on Sundays, but it doesn't get old. I just may go to the best church in the world. The people there are incredible. Sundays are like new sheets. So clean and the smell nice. Ha, apologies for that inane metaphor. Anyways, I'm sure there will be many more odes to Sunday on my blog. For now, so long citizens.

Adventures with the Murrays

My adventures with the Murrays have included being cold, wet and soaked, rolled up jeans, poison oak, cups of coffee, movie nights, hide-and-seek in the dark, campfires, hay jumps, canoe rides, photographic adventures, parks, breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, board games, barn climbing, birthday parties, Uhaul entrapments, soda pops, Bama games, Christmas parades, music concerts, art shows, graduations, trampoline sleeping, bus campouts, singing, night walks/drives, stories, taekwondo classes, workouts, church events, libraries, snow days, car rides, cinemas, stores, snow cone sales, card games/tricks, philosophical discussions, goofy and intense phone conversations, music sharing, prank calls, pizzas, getting kicked out of shopping malls, Rock Band, handshakes, biblical debates, cooking sweet potato casserole, pizzas, and broccoli casserole, dancing classes, 5k runs, swapping food orders, Spring Valley Beach 4th of July celebrations, Thanksgiving celebrations, Christmas celebrations, Valentine day celebrations, four wheeler/go-kart near deaths, spooking sisters, videogames, water spitting competitions, Cinnamon spoonful ingestions, writing, videos, talent shows, water slides, comedians, homework, projects, dogs, the lake, furniture moving, cake icing wars, misplacing glasses, Chinese food, rolling down hill in dismantled Jack's playground tube, split-personalities, drink/food serving, balloons, warehouses, haunted barber shops, snoozing, dressing nicely, ice cream, faux smoking, answers to star trek crossword puzzle clues, Sam's Cola, childhood toys, emails, drawings, tv spots, fish admiration, car stereo jammin', CD making, camera mishaps, kitchen cleaning, house wrecking, people meeting, van surfing, junkyards, friend abandonment, bridge underpassing, wading, rapid crossing, ants, insults, wal-mart trips, hair-straightening, high school ball games, 12 mile runs, compliments, chili, dreams, lip ring gags, tangos, handkerchiefs, jackets, computers, goodbyes, hellos, volleyball (rain or shine), braces, braids, smiles, frowns, carpetball, dramas, scarfs, decorations, stickers, weird faces, armwrestling, aprons, McDonalds, twist tie rings, Mp3 switches, talent shows, classic hand smiles, tight seating, tetherball, tree climbs, chalk, swings, four square, push ups, sit ups and chapstick, poker, flashlight tag, cakes, cemeteries, Rhodenderon, Duke, pop-tart boggins, clouds, books, popsicles, splenda, photo booths, cookie making, rockband playing, laying on granperents roof at 12 in the freezing wet cold, shoe stealing (thanks to divinci), gastation trips and walks, church basketball trips, and so much more that I'm forgetting I know. It's been so amazing. I would be missing a big hunk of my childhood if it were not for the Murrays. So here's to a million more crazy adventures my friends.

(If you have any more unpublished adventures to add, let me know).

Inspire Me

What inspires you? Is it music? Nostalgia for things long gone, ancient feelings that comfort you? Perhaps words, spoken or written with the utmost eloquence? Your commitment or feelings for those you love? A passion of any sort? If you said yes to any of these I must ask that you be more specific. Inspiration goes so much deeper than that, there has to be something that generates all of these avenues of assurance. Something behind the noise and pyrotechnics. There has to be a nucleus.

The problem with inspiration is it isn't lasting. It's like an adrenaline rush. It does great things while it is present, but when it fades away you are back to square one. No one wants to be stuck on square one forever, so what do we do? I believe we have one of two options:



1. We can constantly seek to "refill" our inspiration tank.

2. We can search for something deeper. Discover the core and thrive off it.



This is not an either/or situation. You must choose. Since I advocate the latter, and this is my blog, I'll promote what I know to be the right decision. Take food for example. If you smell food coming from your kitchen and all it's exhilerating scents you have gotten a part of the experience. It drives you, yes? If you look at a feast laid before your eyes and all it's garnished delectability you've still got something to ignite your hunger. But still it's only eye-candy. There is no sustaining value. If you listen to all the sizzling, snapping sounds of the kitchen you are going to be driven on towards something. All this is true, your senses have inspired you to where you can carry on for a while, but it isn't until that food enters your system that you experience the full measure of delight and fulfillment intended.

So we must take these small inspirations as a road map. Follow their trail leading up to the heart. Then have your fill. Don't stop until you are overflowing with an eternal inspiration that never leaves. The water that will not leave you thirsting for more. Don't confuse my metaphorical jargon for subtlety. Indeed not. That core, heart, nucleus, generator, is Jesus Christ.

"Psychosis"

This theory came about in a conversation I had with one of my Murray sisters Emily Anne. The following is an excerpt from an email I sent to my Best Friend Sarah Jane Murray, whom I often argue in favor of our 'psychosis' with She's always very patient with me there. Yet another justifiable theory.

"I totally have a new theory on what I call our psychosis, "details at eleven!" Or right now. Try this: Let's say as Christians, our minds rest in totally different school of thought than any 'normal' human being not affiliated with salvation. Let's say we are "swimming" in a 'out of this world' pool of mental capacities and uniquities, because of our constant supernatural contact with our Maker. Our divine relations rub off on us, and it accentuates the so harshly singular persona we were fashioned so carefully with. I think if we knew ourselves in the impossibly intimate way God does we would see how, astoundingly different, so SO different, we are. It's incredible how different he is capable of creating so many things. We don't realize it because we are constantly, and usually subconsciously conforming to one another. It isn't a bad thing, it's just an unavoidable thing. The difference in us, or the insanity/psychosis, is God. So yes indeed I've used the wrong words in attempting to convey our alien attributes, but now I'm brinking on what I accidentally meant. When we begin to grow closer to one another as people we begin to see just how "psychotic" we really are, it surprises us. It even sort of worries us, but when we realize it's our bond as the Body of Christ we embrace it, we even try to dive deeper into it. It's the definition of the real us that we can never fully grasp in this world. So I figure, that our challenge is not becoming different from the world, no that has already been done when we excepted Christ that was like BAM! Injection into our worldly souls. The trick now is illuminating it to where this perverse place we temporarily inhabit can see it clearly, and want that kind of supernatural surety. Just a thought. I don't know."