Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater


"Don't count your money in front of the poor"

I have this friend who hates Valentine's Day. Actually I have it least 25.2 friends that hate Valentine's Day, but one in particular that gave me an insight or two. The tagline at the forefront here is his annual adage and we can see the immediate metaphorical relationship that's going on here and--

STOP!

It is rude to stop reading once you have started a blog, if you find my prose unbearable, at least skim over it. After all this is not another lament. This is a connectionary cable telegrammed to you via the human emotion and heart.

And so the subject of this interview alternated between lying across the green carpet floor and angling his arms into a propped position for the serious, "this-needs-eye-contact" statements. My role, in the grand imaginative tradition of Snoopy, was the world-famous interlocutor. This was aided by my literal props: a dwarfed microphone and stand, and a stool. The audience was a silent Samantha tearing up at the emotional parts (that's not actually true, but she was there). All this besides the obvious radio listeners.

Valentine's Day is a celebration, that's a fact. I mean pretty girls bat their lashes at their fellow, there is gift getting and real moody dates and poems and love letters and songs and red and pink and lace and hearts and candy and oh boy. But it's a dichotomy. Everything has two sides. It's a reminder that someone loves for you or has some mushy romantic feelings for you, but it's also a reminder of what you don't have. It's like a oppressed Cuban in the middle of a 4th of July celebration. It stinks to watch.

Well at least it does for many, I've never really minded. After all, it was kind of sweet to watch a bunch of goofies run around with dopey smiles and hazy eyes. It was a celebration, no problem being single. But by gosh, look at me, I'm seventeen years old and I haven't had time to wonder why my mailbox resembles Charlie Brown's every February 14. In the Candy Land game of ages I'm back at Plumpy (did you know they took him out of the game?!) and Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater is way up at Lord Licorice. I have to wonder if I feel any different five or ten years from now. Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater says that it makes you wonder what's wrong with you after so long of not having someone. He says that you know that God has that perfect someone out there for you, but at the same time, you're human, you have emotions, and those emotions take a beating when you have to wait.

And then there's the real killer. The story. No one has a Valentine vendetta without a story behind it. This is no different for Kevro the Valentine's Day hater. It doesn't have to be woven in the Valentine's Day quilt. The holiday just gives it a good solid jolt. He tells this story to the world famous interlocutor and the audience of one as if it has just happened with a permeating pang in each detail. The tale has all the classic cringes, like the affectionate crescendo and the fork in the road between two dreams and the sudden realization that the someone you've chosen hasn't chosen you back. Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater says there is just something about someone choosing to love you, with your good and your bad and just everything. He says there's something about someone saying each day, or each hour even, that they choose to love you and acting upon that. Behind every distaste for the day there is a story to be told.

It's rotten for all the sincer-ites out there. Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater is like that. Sincere I mean. He's a good looking young man with talent and passion and dreams and the drive to get there. What's wrong with him? Nothing really. He, among other faces, are waiting, and when the wait is over it will be a celebration. There are a bunch of good-hearted Valentine's Day Haters strumming guitars and practising pirouettes and writing poems and hunting stags and taking strolls and thinking about there future someone. They're all riding on their art and praying to their God and waiting for someone to share it with in holy communion. Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater says that in a nutshell Valentine's Day is a reminder of what they want most, but feel like they'll never have. It's that wretched feeling, I suppose, that makes Valentine's Day so tough. The stories come back like shark attacks in sloshing water, dream flashes. This day stands for what you could of had. They have it, you don't.

There are some wealthy, wealthy people out there and may God bless them all. But have a heart. Don't count your money in front of the poor. If you are penniless, it's going to be crummy when everybody else's wallets are laced, but it's a kind of twisted advantage for you. I don't know how to explain it, but maybe if you're there you know what I'm talking about, and if you don't maybe you can talk with Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater and he can tell you what I'm talking about. So keep playing your songs and painting your pictures or running your miles because one day you're going to run into someone in a supermarket or something cheesy like that.

And it's going to be awesome.

*sigh*

Happy Valentine's Day




(And by special request of Kevro the Valentine's Day Hater)









3 comments:

  1. Take heart, Kevin. She is out there... somewhere.

    And great job, Mitch!

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  2. Outstanding... I love this! Everything in my being is wearing a smile. So good. If this were out on a broader scale we would have to lock Kevin in a closet somewhere.--What pretty words and thought. "Don't count your money in front of the poor" is a favourite.

    (Kevin I love you. Can't wait to meet that special girl.)

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  3. ohhhh me! Kevin, i dont mean this bad but im glad im not the only one who felt the same way on valetines day! I have read so many books that say oh just trust God, his time is better, his guy (in your case girl) is better than what you will ever imagine blah blah blah, truth is it is hard waiting! and really hard when everyone i know my age is married and happy! i feel your pain my friend, sadly i dont know what to tell you to feel better, because i havent made myself feel better either! Trust in God, like he tells us i guess is all we can do! =)

    and mitch, your words are just so great, you are great! both of you are great! =)

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