Go, God, Go!

Here goes my second blog on Ecuador, this time pre-existing just one day before the trip is made.

I have been waiting for more than half my life for tomorrow, Friday, June 26, 2009, 7:30 A.M. Now I'm not sure how to properly acknowledge or celebrate the emotion that defines the endeavor. It catalyzes feelings I've never experienced. It's strange, and I can't think about anything else.

I'm afraid I'll blow this opportunity for God to use me. It wouldn't be the first time, but this is the part where I release my faith and trust in who God is. He doesn't do things on accident.

To tell you the truth it feels like getting married. Not that I really have a grasp on what it feels like to get married, but living in this marriage-laden country I have a fingerhold. It's a moment of inexplicable elation but other emotions also release themselves forcibly into your demeanor. You are nervous, scared, paranoid and completely in love, which means you're hopeless, but relentless and passionate. You're afraid you won't be able to be what you need to be...and you can't be. You can't ever be. You have to call on something else inside. Bring to surface the nucleus of it all. I just don't want to ruin the beauty. At any given moment that is a possibility. I want to do everything to make it something special and memorable and impacting. I don't want to lose any of those goals, due to any slip of laziness or lack of preperation.

I apologize for my alleged over-exaggeration. You just don't understand.

I cannot worry about these things. God is behind it all. Even if I don't always feel it. The dispersion of the gospel...to stop is impossible. Acts 5:39 says this, "...if it is of God, you will not be able to stop them. You may even find yourselves fighting against God." In Luke 18:27 it says this, "What is impossible for people is possible with God."

This is the part where I almost lose words to say. I'm finished with my attempts to express how happy I am.

This is going to be the adventure of my life.

Ecuador, South America.

GO...GOD...GO!

Quote Commentary 9...Todd Beamer

"Let's Roll."
Todd Beamer

Todd Beamer was an educated, New Jersey account manager. He was married with two sons and expecting a third, when he was a passenger on United Airlines Flight 93. A witness to the upheavels of tragedy.

I watched the movie "Flight 93" last night before I went to bed. I've always been inspired by the story. It's been a long time since a movie stirred so many emotions inside of me. This isn't to say it was a well made movie. No, but the truth of it probed my feelings terrifically.

I lied awake a long time last night. Not so much thinking on it, but reflecting. That is to say I wasn't trying to figure things out in my head, I was just dwelling on the courage and events.

We need people like Todd Beamer. People that say I'm not going down without a fight. People riddled by surreal situations. People that say, I'm going to die anyway, but there is a greater cause to fight for, so "Let's Roll."

Today I've been reading and researching about all things Flight 93. I've listened to every actual recording I could find, I've read about the lives of the hijackers and the passengers. I've discovered almost every memorial, tribute, consequence, and impact of what happened, I've read some about the families.

These were people whose actions were screaming their lungs out, that we were Americans...indivisible, indestructable, under God.

I wish with all my heart I could give justice with my words to the actions of these incredible passengers. I can't write out the passion that is in my head for these people and what they did.

Throughout the movie I kept wishing that it was fiction, so they could have a miraculous save at the end. That the heros would emerge unscathed. But I suppose there is no greater measure of a hero than the sacrifice of one's own life for others. None so noble or selfless as that. Reality is too bold in its story. It doesn't really heed to the audience's wishes. Reality has no morals, no shame, no remorse, no mercy.

We all know the phrase that inspired the nation that I've headlined this blog with, but let us not forget the prayer Todd Beamer also orated before it was go time. The familiar verses were these:

Our Father, which art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day, our daily bread,

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, For ever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13

Now...Let's Roll.

Links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Beamer

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Airlines_Flight_93

http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#dc%20talk%20Let http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Let%27s_roll

Quote Commentary 8...Gilda Radner

I always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.
-- Gilda Radner

Mrs. Radner was an American comedienne and actress who was a regular on Saturday Night Live. She battled and died of ovarian cancer at 42 raising an awareness for the disease.

Besides the perfect poetry of this piece it offers also a frighteningly exciting truth.

We humans hate being in the dark. We hate confusion and chaos and the worrisome ignorance forced upon us by hints of tragedy. We crave clarity and thirst for reason in the rage.

Then we realize the beauty is always brightest at the end of a long and winding tunnel. The thrill is in the twist, we can't handle knowing how our story ends.

Honestly, personally. I want to live on the edge. I want to scream right back at the noise. Everyday there is an adventure waiting to be had that will bore through the sands of time and be alive to inspire those left standing. There are discoveries to be made that will chill us to the bone.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, life is like a project. You always have a plan, and something always gets in the way. You can either cast the endeavor aside or use your wit and all other allies to persevere. Things are going to cut it close. You'll bleed, sweat, puke your guts out, cry, laugh, learn, and love every minute of it. You'll be inspired and discouraged. Your heart will break and your emotions will swell. And you'll always be surprised...."Delicious ambiguity"

Quote Commentary 7...Francois de La Rochefoucauld

We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Quotes and maxims were a speciatly of French born writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld, so today we have a thought from a professional.

There are noble purposes in revealing our faults. Open, truthful confessionals and inspirational testimonies can fall in the aforementioned category. However, there are also, and unfortunately more often, selfish motives for such a incriminating revelation.

We can release our small faults easily enough to curb the curiosity, care, or chastisement intended for our much larger wrongdoings. Or to turn the attention away. Like an EP before an album. Just give them something to sink their teeth into. Keep them occupied.

Quote Commentary 6...Charles M. Schulz

I know there is a lesson to be learned here somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Linus Van Pelt, Peanuts. Charles M. Schulz.

For a fellow like me that believes everything happens for a reason, constant vigil is necessary so that I don't miss a lesson to be learned, a meaning to be unveiled, or a purpose to be discovered. Many times we find events unfolding in our lives that we struggle to understand. A method in the madness would certainly be comforting, but it is so vague if there is any. We could use our imaginations and achieve a brief stimulant, but we would still be left unfulfilled. Sometimes past events leave us stunned for a very long time. We try and decide why it had to happen and see if there is something we can take with us from it. If that is the case, by all means retrace your steps. Mostly you'll find you wouldn't give up the knowledge you have now or the blessings you have now for the all the terror and tragedy of the past.

So ponder on the events in your minute to minute life. Take each event for what it's worth. Usually when you get an oyster there's bound to be a pearl. There are lessons to be learned everywhere.